“A Daughter’s Quest for Truth”
Coming in 2012:
Carina Rourke is an American growing up in blissful innocence in the Middle East. Until, seized by an obsessive desire to open her mother’s forbidden jewelry box, she discovers a shocking family secret. On the heels of Carina’s discovery, the family embarks on her father’s dream to travel four thousand miles across the Arabian Desert. Their eventful trip, that includes eleven countries and thirty-seven cities, becomes a metaphoric journey for the woman Carina becomes—a silent nomad in search of answers in the shifting winds. When they reach Paris, the city’s temptations engulf her. French pastries become a dangerous addiction and an accomplice in silence. And so does the love of a mysterious Tunisian. Many years later, as a married mother in Holland, Carina draws on her father’s wisdom to finally confront the family secret to heal herself and her family.
My story is a journey of healing through acceptance of self. A journey accepting the truth. Finding yourself. Finding your true self. All these speak to the theme of my book. Although the inciting incident is a life-altering event revolving around adoption; it has actually less to do with adoption per-se as with acceptance and self-identity that can apply to any state that might be self-perceived to have negative connotations of being different and “less and normal” (being gay in a largely heterosexual society; being a woman in a patriarchal dictatorship; being white in a black community; believing in God in an athiest town).
Again, my story is a journey toward joy of self, a courageous journey of truth and compassion, but more of expressing self with courage, honor and truth and ultimately celebrating SELF (perhaps even the divine in all of us).
Acceptance, then, has two connotations here: there is 1) a perception of being accepted as a full-fledged normal member of family; and 2) own acceptance of a newly found identity: accepting and being accepted.
My story is a recipe for happiness. However, first you must forgive. Forgiveness creates a mind shift rendering you to your authentic self. Therein lies your happiness. Authenticity is the driving force to happiness. Through the power of love one heals and through love one accepts.
I had just come in from our backyard; my ritual as I plopped down on the fragrant freshly mowed grass with my back against our protective six-foot tall weathered grayish picket fence. Inhaling the tantalizing aroma of grape vines, I found it difficult to resist stopping after eating just one grape-stuffed my mouth full of plump blue ones-those were no ordinary grapes they were Concord grapes, whose vines permeated the entire rear fence. Mouthful after mouthful of plump sweet grapes, I found it hard to stop but all too easy to have become intoxicated.
“You’re just in time—come sit with us in the kitchen,” she said, smiling. Dad and I have some news we’d like to discuss with you and Dennis. Mom was slanted back against a Colonial Captain’s wood chair resting her right elbow on the chair’s arm—hands clasped in her lap. Leaned back into the other captain’s chair, with interlocked hands behind his head, Dad threw Dennis and me a wink. Furrowing my forehead, I plunked myself into the last chair of the set next to Dennis, who sat Indian style and twirled his red toy bomber plane.
“Du, Dennis and Carina, we are going to have to move to another country for my job. My boss wants me — wants us — to move to Jeddah, Saudi Arabia—another country, far away from here—for two years, Dad proudly beamed from ear to ear. “I need to go for three months. Du, then you, Carina and Dennis could take a plane to join me later.”
Mom gasped, smiling with wide-open blue eyes.
Dad took out the Atlas and pointed to the map showing us where Saudi Arabia was located. Mom and Dad exchanged smiles over what was about to take place in our life glancing at one another. I tucked my chin in towards my chest, squinted my eyes and curled my lower lip over my upper lip. I didn’t want to leave all my friends. Nor did I want to leave Cleveland Elementary School or my best friend, Cindy Pratt.